AuDHD 101: What It Means to Be Both Autistic and Have ADHD
If you’ve ever felt like your brain is doing everything at once and nothing at all, or like your sensitivity and restlessness are constantly at odds, you’re not imagining it. You might be navigating something called AuDHD, a term that describes the overlap between autism and ADHD.
AuDHD is not an official diagnosis, but it captures a very real experience. Many people have traits of both autism and ADHD, and when they coexist, they often interact in complex, confusing, and sometimes contradictory ways. Understanding this overlap can be a powerful step toward greater self-awareness and self-compassion.
What Is AuDHD?
AuDHD refers to the co-occurrence of autism and ADHD. While these are two distinct neurodevelopmental conditions, they frequently appear together. In fact, research suggests that 30 to 80 percent of autistic people also have ADHD, and many people with ADHD show traits that align with autism.
In practice, this overlap can lead to unique challenges that are often overlooked in systems that prefer neat diagnostic categories. Some traits may blend. Others may clash. You might:
Crave routine but struggle to follow it
Be deeply sensitive to sound or light while also seeking stimulation
Care intensely about relationships but feel unsure how to connect
Hyperfocus for hours and then crash into shutdown the next day
This combination can feel disorienting, especially if you were never told that being both autistic and ADHD was possible.
Why AuDHD Is Often Missed
Many people with AuDHD go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed for years. This is especially true if you are:
Experienced childhood neglect
A woman or were socialized as a girl
A person of color
High-achieving in school or work
Someone who learned early on how to hide differences in order to fit in
Masking plays a big role in this. If you’ve spent years adapting to expectations that don’t match your natural wiring, it’s easy to miss what’s actually going on underneath.
You may have been praised for your creativity, empathy, or flexibility. At the same time, you may have felt overwhelmed, emotionally dysregulated, or exhausted without knowing why.
What Masking Looks Like and Why It Matters
Masking is the effort to appear neurotypical by suppressing natural behaviors or pushing through discomfort. For many people with AuDHD, masking is a survival strategy. It can help you navigate school, work, or relationships. But it often comes at a cost.
Masking can leave you feeling disconnected from your own needs. You may look fine on the outside but feel chaotic inside. Over time, this can lead to a kind of burnout that is specific to neurodivergent people.
Burnout in this context doesn’t always come from doing too much in the traditional sense. It often comes from doing too much while pretending it’s easy. It can also come from getting lost in a passion or special interest to the point that you forget to eat, sleep, or rest.
Some people fear that if they stop, they won’t be able to restart. That fear of losing momentum, combined with the need for deep rest, creates a painful internal tug-of-war.
Signs of AuDHD burnout can include:
Total exhaustion
Emotional numbness
Forgetting how to do things that once felt automatic
Losing connection to your interests, creativity, or sense of self
This isn’t laziness. It’s burnout. And it’s real.
Grief and Relief
Realizing you are AuDHD can be a huge relief. Patterns that once felt confusing begin to make sense. But that clarity can also bring grief. You may mourn:
The support you didn’t get
The relationships that were harder than they needed to be
The version of yourself that spent years working so hard to pass as "normal"
This grief is valid. It deserves space. And you also get to move forward with a deeper understanding of your needs and a stronger sense of self.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy that is affirming of neurodivergence can help you stop fighting your brain and start working with it. In therapy, we might focus on:
Naming and unlearning internalized shame
Making space for rest, sensory needs, and flexibility
Building systems that match how your brain actually functions
Exploring identity, self-trust, and boundaries
This is not about making you less autistic or less ADHD. It’s about creating a life that works for you, not just in theory, but in practice.
If this resonates with you, you're not alone.
You can learn more about my approach to neurodivergent-affirming therapy here. If you're ready to explore how therapy might support your AuDHD experience, schedule a free consult call to get started.