The Myth of Forever: When Depression Makes You Feel Stuck for Good

One of the hardest things about being in a depressive episode is the way it distorts time. Depression doesn’t just make things feel bleak. It makes them feel endless. When you're in it, it can seem like you’ve always felt this way and that nothing will ever change.

That sense of permanence is a lie your brain is telling you. Even though it can feel incredibly convincing, it’s not the full story.

What Depression Does to Time

Depression has a way of compressing the past and stretching out the future. If you’re experiencing Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), you might find it hard to remember what it felt like to have energy, feel hope, or enjoy even small things. When you look ahead, your mind may only be able to imagine more of the same.

This is part of what makes depression so painful. It doesn’t just affect your mood. It also affects your memory, your imagination, and your sense of what's possible.

On a neurological level, this is related to reduced activity in the parts of the brain responsible for future planning, pleasure, and motivation. The result is a kind of mental tunnel vision. When you’re deep in that tunnel, it’s hard to picture a way out.

Persistent Depressive Disorder vs. Major Depressive Disorder

It’s important to acknowledge that for some people, depression really is more chronic. Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD), sometimes called dysthymia, involves symptoms that last for two years or more. The intensity may rise and fall, but the low mood remains relatively constant.

People living with PDD often develop coping strategies that help them function even though they carry a heavy emotional baseline. Therapy can be helpful in loosening long-held beliefs, identifying patterns, and supporting small but meaningful shifts over time.

For people with Major Depressive Disorder, the experience is different. MDD often comes in episodes where symptoms show up intensely for a defined period of time, typically at least two weeks. These symptoms may lift or lessen with treatment, support, or changes in circumstances. The challenge is that when you're in the middle of an episode, it can feel indistinguishable from forever.

Depression Tells You This Is Who You Are

Part of what keeps people stuck is the idea that this is not just how they feel right now, but who they are. You might think:

• I’ve always been like this.

• Nothing has ever really helped.

• Even when things are good, it doesn't last.

These beliefs aren't irrational. They’re shaped by lived experiences and often reinforced by past disappointments or treatments that didn’t help. But they’re also shaped by the depressive episode itself. Depression can dull your memory of better times and your belief in the future.

Therapy can help by holding onto that wider perspective for you when you can’t access it. You don’t have to believe things will get better in order to start getting support. Sometimes the first step is simply letting someone else believe it for you.

You Don’t Have to Believe in Recovery to Start

One of the most common things I hear from clients in the early stages of treatment is: I don’t think this is going to work, but I figured I should try something. That’s okay. You don’t need to be full of hope in order to begin. You just need a little bit of willingness, or even just curiosity.

In therapy, we might start by gently questioning some of those "forever" beliefs. We’ll look at where they came from, how they’ve been reinforced, and whether they’re as absolute as they feel. We’ll also talk about what helps even when nothing feels good. This might include structure, connection, and relief from self-judgment.

Over time, the tunnel starts to open up. It’s not necessarily a dramatic transformation. But the flatness starts to shift. You begin to notice moments that feel slightly easier or less heavy. You might even surprise yourself by laughing at something or feeling interested again.

That’s not forever either. But it’s real.

There Is Another Side

Depression wants you to believe that this is all there is. It convinces you that things have always been this way and always will be. But depression is not the truth-teller it claims to be. It's an illness, not an identity. It clouds your memory, narrows your vision, and erodes your hope.

Hope doesn’t need to be loud or dramatic. Sometimes it just looks like making a call, showing up to therapy, or saying to yourself, maybe it’s not forever even if you don’t quite believe it yet.

If you’re in the middle of a depressive episode and feel stuck, you’re not alone.

You can learn more about how I work with depression here. If you’re ready to explore therapy, schedule a free consult call to get started.